Friday, January 11, 2013

Sucky People

I’m a friendly guy. I say hi to a lot of people. Especially people who I often see. For instance, whenever I walk down to the Starbuck’s near my place I always walk by this guy who does valet parking for a restaurant on my street. I have probably said hi to him 20 plus times. I have never once gotten a hi back, any kind of response, or any kind of reaction at all. He just stares at me. What’s that about? You can’t just acknowledge me?

The same thing has happened to me with 2 different people I work in the same building as. I don’t know exactly who they are but I know we all work for Sony. I find that to be appropriate enough to say hi when passing them on their way to make doodie or pee pee. One’s this older guy who also never acknowledges me and the other is a younger girl who stares daggers right through my soul. It’s as if I’m saying hi and flicking them off simultaneously...also with my dick out. What the fuck?!

You can’t just say hi back? Do you think I have an ulterior motive? Am I doing it wrong? Is it offensive the way I go about it?! I’m just trying to be nice, yet these people treat me like a bum begging for know if you’re one of those people who pretends you don’t hear them. I even tend to acknowledge the homeless. But my clothes are not torn or tattered. I clean up nicely enough and make sure to smell like anything other than my own piss. So they can’t possibly think I’m a vagrant! So, what is it?!

Well, I guess some people just suck! And I don’t know these people, don’t know their names, so I can’t call them out. But I know they recognize me! I say hi to them more often then they’d like. So, I can only hope they come across this so that they can find out they suck! How will they know it’s my blog? Easy, here’s my picture!

There, now if you’re someone reading this  and you’ve seen that face say hi to you and you continuously ignore the person owning this face, then you suck! And know that there are plenty other people who read this blog (maybe just a handful) who are laughing at you and knowing you suck! And yeah I won’t say it to your face because one of you works on the street I live on and two of you work with me and I don’t need anymore awkward situations in real life. But I’ll make the internet as awkward as fuck! Think you’re getting away clean because I don’t have any pictures of you to put on here? Think no one will know who you are and will know how much horse ass you suck? Guess what! I know exactly what you look like and I am prepared to do an extremely accurate drawing of you in your purest form!

There’s the guy who works on my street at his post. And yes that speech bubble is permanently there while he’s there. I wasn’t going to bring it up but if he is constantly saying how ugly he is and crap well then I’ll just have to share it with the world. That is EXACTLY what that guy looks like by the way. Thin legs and all!

There’s Suck Ass Person #2! And yes, he too is giving you a good description of how terrible he is. Look at you, you’re one of the worst! Now people know who you are and that you aren’t friendly and had your hair drawn on by me with pencil function in Paint.

And lastly, the third, the worst, the meanest, the girl. Ol Devil Eyes with the Medusa Hair. Sure she’s never said those exact words to me, but look at those eyes. They basically spell it out with their harsh laser beams they send out. And yes, I drew her boobs. I was trying to be accurate. Don’t read too much into them. Boobs aren’t as good when attached to the embodiment of Hates-Me-For-No-Reason!

There you have it. Those are some of the people I often pass by that just plain suck. And there you go sucky people! You’ve been branded on a blog that is heavily popular amongst my friends and family and hopefully some other people I don’t know so that I can feel like a real writer. Deal with that! You’ve been com style!


  1. There is a guy at work that i have said hi to many times and he just stares or looks at the ground. so now i keep saying hi to piss him off

  2. Sometimes it's the best way to get back at them...keep giving them what they don't want!