Wednesday, January 16, 2013

My New CD

So, I've been wanting to record a CD but had no ideas for songs. I thought that I just needed to come up with some song names and then once I did that, I could build a song around that with some meaning or whatever. But how does one come up with song titles when there is no song?

And I figured it out! While watching Friends reruns over the course of a few days I just decided to write down a bunch of Joey's lines. And those are the song titles. So, I compiled my list, and here it is, in order, exactly how it would appear on the back of my platinum CD when you pick it up on the shelf in Best Buy! Minus the fact that I'll give you a description in parenthesis of what I'm thinking I'll try to make the song about...

1 - That’s Like Summer In A Bowl (This is the summer jam to kick off the CD. Some real feel good tunes.)

2 - Pictures Of Cute Babies We Don’t Know (I slow it down a little with a heartfelt jam that the whole family can listen to together.)

3 - I Don’t Know This Baby (This is when thing's get a little intense. You know when Usher was sleeping around on that girl from TLC and got the other girl pregnant, and he made a song all about it. I could do something like that and I'm pretending I don't know this baby that's calling me dad in front of my woman. It will be all lies since I'm not a horrible person like Usher.)

4 - You Did Some Real Good Thinkin’ In There (A jam about friends getting over tough obstacles.)

5 - Dude I Don’t Know, That’s A Pretty Small Hole (A sexy song for the ladies.)

6 - I Slipped On A Giant Booger! (You gotta keep some fun ones in there for the kids. This will probably be my first single.)

7 - You Can’t Go To A Museum In Your Underwear (It's true. And nothing about this song isn't true. Maybe it's just a musical list of facts with a sexy saxophone solo somewhere.)

8 - How You Doin? (I check on my main woman to really see how she feels and then make love to her body parts.)

9 - Seriously Gunther You Should See Someone About That Cold If It Gets Much Worse You Could Die (This could be anything really. Party song?)

10 - I Don’t Think She Remembered Sleeping With Me (A song filled with heartbreak and woe. Violins will be a must.)

11 - Wow! It’s Like They’re On Fire! (But we pick it back up with a tunnel banger! Ya mean! Word is born! These are things I hear LL Cool J say a lot so I figure if I say them then that makes me cool. Right?)

12 - If You Go To A Hotel You’ll Be Doin’ Stuff (Another sexy one. I can't help but to make a song that will please the ladies.)

13 - Sorry, Wrong Boobies (And the final song on the CD, we cap it off...with a song of apology to my main woman...probably for lying to her in previous songs. This song will inexplicably be like over 7 minutes long and it will be just ridiculous. Also this will feature backup vocals from someone in some other musical group that has no connection to me and my main woman and will make no sense at all.)

So, there you have it? Who wants to buy this CD? Wait! I still gotta go record this crap!


  1. When can we preorder this, Stephen? I really want one now.

    1. Soon hopefully. I'll book some time in a studio and record them all at once. I'll get on that, and let the pre-ordering begin!