Saturday, January 26, 2013

I'm The Kind Of Guy Who...

People often ask me to describe myself and it expect it to be done with me listing off characteristics. For one, I don't really like to do that because I feel it's hard to characterize yourself sometimes. Especially with emotions that might often change. Also, I just think it's a lot more useful if we are to describe ourselves with stories of our past.

For example, you ask me to describe myself and I answer...

I'm the kind of guy who once got chased by a gaggle of 8 or so  angry geese about a block and a half after I had locked myself out of my house and had to walk the 3 miles to work.

I'm the kind of guy, not to get Te'o'd, but rather to get the opposite of Te'o'd. When I asked that girl for her number and got it and then later realized she had a boyfriend I NEVER KNEW EXISTED!

I'm the kind of guy who got followed by a crazed maniac with road rage all the way to a Wendy's drive thru and then as I was trying to order out my driver's window was getting yelled at, cursed at, and threatened at through my passenger side window.

I'm the kind of guy who accidentally shat himself while laughing so hard while drunk at a friend's house though through the art of being a ninja avoided any of the three friends in that house ever finding out about it.

I'm the kind of guy who has gotten in more than one verbal fights with the kiosk sales people in the mall.

I'm the kind of guy who once bought something from a kiosk at the mall just to have a reason to talk to the girl who was working there and try to ask her out and then when it didn't work went back to the mall 3 times in a row before she wasn't working so I could return the damn pillow I never wanted in the first place.

I'm the kind of guy who got cans of black olives in his stocking at Christmas 4 years in a row...and loved it!

I'm the kind of guy who once got sun tan lotion stolen out of my car by the POLICE when my car had been impounded due to the careless actions of a friend. That's right, the police have stolen from ME!

And to all of you still here I would like to thank you. I'm sure there are not many of you left at this point. But anyway, what do you think? Paints a picture, right? Well, this is the new way I'm describing myself. Might even make it my dating profile!

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