Thursday, December 27, 2012

Unbelievable Home Alone Genetics

So, you've seen Home Alone, right? Great movie. One in which, no matter what ridiculous and unbelievable things happen, I accept them since the movie is so amazing. I'm sure many of you do the same. Certain things you may overlook due to the sheer awesomeness of the movie...

The iron falling on Marv's face and not breaking or bloodying his nose...just leaving a mark.

The blowtorch lighting Harry's head on fire and him standing still for a good 4 seconds before deciding he isn't a cartoon and running away to pile drive himself into the snow.

Kevin sledding from the top of the stairs all the way down, out the front door and into the front yard without crashing into anything even though the stairs are clearly not perfectly aligned with the front door.

10 pizzas costing $122.50 in 1990. (What were their toppings, lobster and platinum?)

The pizza boy not calling the cops after being "shot at".

Whatever it may be that you notice that makes you go, "Um, I don't know if THAT would really happen" it's OK. It's all good. Because the movie is all good. For me, I'll come across a new one of these every once in awhile but then it just takes another viewing to smooth things out. Just one more viewing for me to say, "It's alright. It's Home Alone! The movie is basically perfection!" And I've seen the movie more times than an adult should have. More times than the average adult male has seen boobs. Every time I see a new thing, Home Alone manages to make it all better by being viewed just one more time. But here's the latest thing I noticed. The newest part of the movie I'm really having a problem with.

This...


Plus this...


Equals this???


You really dropped the ball on this one, Biology! How did that one happen?

While you all ponder how the above is possible in this current world we live in I'm going to watch the movie one more time so that I don't have to continue to join you all in intense cerebral paralysis.

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