Thursday, November 8, 2012

Is That A Semen Plant?

You've just stepped outside. You're walking down to the coffee shop or you're about to go for a run or whatever it is. You're out on the sidewalk. It's a nice, sunny day out and you inhale, taking a deep breath through your nose and then...you smell it! Ah! What smells like semen?!

Is there a nearby sperm donation happening? Why does it smell like a teenager's trashcan all of a sudden? Nope. There is just some sort of tree or plant that smells exactly like semen! And it's in bloom! Stankin up the outside like it's a room commonly used for orgies with poor ventilation. It's so strong. The smell doesn't just linger, it stains the insides of your nostrils. Until you feel like you'll never smell anything else.

It's unmistakeable yet it's unidentifiable. Well, I'm sure there's some botanists that know what the sperm plant really is but why haven't they told us common folk? So that we can find them and tear them out of the soil and plant them in our enemy's turf? Or at least just get them the hell away from us! Baby's breath. There's a plant people like to smell. Babies being created. There's one people don't want to smell. See the difference Mother Nature? Get your shit together. No one like smelling the jizzum tree. It's awful.

I wanted to know what this thing looked like since I had just smelled it the other day and was once again taken aback by the cum flower or whatever it is. It seriously hits you hard, like right in the face...and maybe a little on the chest. What does Julianne Moore say in Boogie Nights? On her stomach and her....anyway...getting off topic...it hit me! And I hated it as usual! So, I look it up on a Google Image Search. But the way I worded what I was looking for was a bit off. And the results showed.

All I can say is, you have to look it up yourself. But be careful when searching for the plant that smells like semen. Word your search carefully. Or you'll get some interesting results. Well, you will regardless. I think Planet Earth knew this in advance. Planet Earth - "Hey, let's create a plant that smells like semen so billions and trillions of years later when search engines are created on the internet, people will look it up and find other funny results." Chuck Norris - "Yes. Good idea." Yeah, I know...big surprise. Chuck Norris helped create the earth and was behind the whole semen-plant scandal. But it's true.

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