Friday, November 30, 2012

SteveInevitable Trivia: Round 1

Hello everybody! We here at SteveInevitable (Yes, it's only me) were wondering if you were interested in winning some free prizes! I've never done a giveaway before, this is my first time! You caught me! I wanted to save it up, you know, for that special......anyway! Some of you may remember that recently I got to go to a press event for Men In Black 3. The agency that arranged that for me, Momentum Worldwide, also told me I could do a giveaway for my readers. And since I truly appreciate everyone who reads my blog, I thought this would be a nice way to show some appreciation. Their client is Sony, so they have a few different prizes from them that I get to give away. The prizes are, 1) The Amazing Spider-Man DVD 2) Rec 3 DVD 3) Arthur Christmas DVD 4) Sparkle DVD 5) Men In Black 3 DVD and 6) The Amazing Spider-Man poster with a certificate of authenticity.

Pretty awesome huh? They seem like neat people over there at Momentum. They sent me to a fun event so I like them. I'm easy enough like that. OK, so there are 6 different prizes so there will be 6 different winners. The winners will randomly get one of those prizes mentioned. I'm all for fun trivia so I decided that would be the best way to pick the winners. Here's how it will go. 10 questions. The 6 best scores are the winners. If 3 get 9 answers right and 3 get 8 answers right and the rest score 7 or below...well guess what...I got my winners picked easy as pizza pie. Let's say some geniuses stroll onto this web site and score some perfect scores. For instance, 10 people could score a 10. Well then from those 10 I'll just randomly pick 6. Draw names out of a hat or some other type of head wear. Fair enough? Well, it will have to be, I'm making the rules and I never get to do this and it will surely go to my head soon enough. So, to answer the multiple choice questions (that's right, it's coming at you SAT style) just add a comment under the post with your ten answers, in order and in English. I'd like to say I very much appreciate all the views I get from other countries that don't speak English as their first language, but my hopes are you will answer in English as that's the only language I know. I don't think my ability to say "Hurry, tell me where the bathroom is" in Spanish and "I am a very little girl" in French qualify me as a bilingual individual. But oh boy have they helped me out in many an awkward situation! Anyway, in English please. And then underneath that leave your email that I can reach you at so I can get your address if you are one of the winners. Some great people from Momentum Worldwide will ship the prize right to you. If you don't feel comfortable leaving your email right in the comments section, email me at stavitabile@gmail.com and let me know which fancy commenter you were.

Alright, this post is up as of Friday 11/30/12 and I will give people until Sunday 12/2/2012 11:59:59 P.M. Pacific Standard Time. Or as we call it in LA, high moon! So you got until Sunday, high moon to answer. I will be figuring out winners soon after and it will be announced and there will be a parade (most likely somewhere in the universe a parade will be happening) and you'll collect your winnings! Ready? Oh wait! What's the trivia about?! Whatever I want to make it about, I make the rules. But it will mainly be about some of these great Sony movies and then also some about me because...yeah...you guessed it...it's my blog and I make the rules. Also, it will be harder for the internet savvy people to find answers to questions about myself. OK, let's do it.

1) In The Amazing Spider-Man Peter Parker is American. Peter Parker is played by Andrew Garfield who was born in...
A) America! Just like Peter Parker!
B) The U.K.
C) France
D) South Africa

2) Emma Stone also stars in this movie and is tremendously attractive. That has nothing to do with the question but is SO TRUE. She probably doesn't realize it but she was in a movie that I was an extra in. So, we're basically co-stars. What movie is that?
A) Crazy, Stupid, Love
B) Zombieland
C) The House Bunny
D) Superbad

3) The Lizard/ Dr. Curt Connors is played by Rhys Ifans. Rhys also appears in one of my favorite movies ever as a football player on an NFL team for just about 4 games. In this mystery movie, what position does he play?
A) Quarterback
B) Kicker
C) Wide Receiver
D) Safety

4) In Men In Black 3, who is the main bad guy played by?
A) Jemaine Clement
B) Josh Brolin
C) Johnny Knoxville
D) Vincent D'Onofrio

5) In the movie, the main bad guy, Boris, has a sort of girlfriend in the beginning. What actress played his tonsil hockey teammate? (That's what they call make out buddies in space, you guys.)
A) Emma Thompson
B) Alice Eve
C) Lil Kim
D) Nicole Scherzinger

6) When Agent J (Will Smith) goes back in time he is pulled over by the police. He tells them he plays starting forward for what team?
A) The Boston Celtics
B) The Detroit Darkees
C) The Los Angeles Lakers
D) The Minneapolis Lakers

7) Arthur Christmas features many voice actors. One of which has practiced medicine for many years on TV. Which actor dabbles in medicine yet still makes time to do some voice acting in Arthur Christmas?
A) Hugh Laurie
B) George Clooney
C) Katherine Heigl
D) Eriq La Salle

8) Rick Baker did the alien make-up effects on Men In Black 3. The first year that Best Make-Up was a category for The Oscars he won it. What movie was it for?
A) Men In Black
B) Harry And The Hendersons
C) An American Werewolf In London
D) Avatar

9) Rick Baker has also been nominated for Best Make-Up on 3 different Eddie Murphy movies, 1 of which he won. Which movie is that?
A) Norbit
B) Shrek
C) The Nutty Professor
D) Coming To America

10) I started this blog on June 22nd 2011 and have done 187 posts including this one. How many did I do in the first 100 days?
A) 10
B) 25
C) 50
D) 100

There they are. Answer away. Thanks for playing and good luck!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Tips For All Screenwriters

Sure, I've never sold a script. But that doesn't mean I can't help you. We can all help each other write scripts, no matter how much experience we have.

Here are some basic tips for ALL SCREENWRITERS.

- If your script is NOT about any kind of storm, immediately discard any lines of dialogue reading "Storm's coming." Because guess what, no it's not.

- If your bad guy is pointing a gun at someone, make him pull the trigger. Guess what real bad guys never do with a loaded gun in their hand. Give a poetic monologue about where the rockets are.

- Don't write a part suitable for Paul Walker. This way, we'll stop seeing him in things. (Don't worry, he'll most likely find a way to muscle his blank stare in anyway
and there's nothing you can do about it.)

- Work on some awesome original material so I can stop seeing movies that are reboots, remakes, redo's, remixes and titles ending with numbers. Seriously, I'm all sequeled and re'd out. Do your part. Help end the madness.


Here are some basic tips for OLDER SCREENWRITERS WRITING FOR A YOUNGER DEMOGRAPHIC

- If any of your young characters ever say "What gives?" trust me as a younger person, we don't say that anymore. Don't even just delete that from your saved draft. Print out that page. Cut out that line of dialogue with scissors. And then proceed to burn it in a fire. That way you'll learn to never do it again. (I honestly heard that in a movie that came out within the last year.)

- Yes the kids are still going to "the rock shows" no it's nothing you've ever heard of, so don't try to write "cool, young, hip lyrics"

- Following that last tip, "hip" "hippie" and "hipster" are all different things. Cannot be used interchangeably.


And finally here are some basic tips for TYLER PERRY

- Don't put your name on everything. No one cares if it's Tyler Perry's Act One or Tyler Perry's Climax or Tyler Perry's Expositional Dialogue.

- Following that last tip, exposition, it's not like money and the more of it there is the better things are. When people sit around and talk with their friends in real life, they usually don't recap their exact professions and when it was they all started working at these professions and how good of friends they all have been since 1989. And if they do...they're not exciting enough to make a movie about.

- Maybe every protagonist in your script shouldn't be white or gay or both. Try to open up your audience appeal. You can reach more demographics and more people all over the country will enjoy your movies. Currently, a map showing where Tyler Perry movies make the most money looks like this. (Red being the areas of highest revenue, then in descending order the colors proceed as orange, light orange, yellow, yellow-green, green, aqua, light blue, dark blue, indigo, purple, and black.)


- And finally, if Tyler Perry wanted to ignore all the above tips, that's fine. So long as he follows this next tip. Don't write screenplays.

Well, that felt helpful. I really want to help everyone better their skills and maybe people will be kind enough to help me better my skills. I'm not the best screenwriter and maybe I don't know what sells in Atlanta but only in Atlanta, but I got some good tips, you guys!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

My Day At The Men In Black 3 Press Event

“When you think of garbage, think of Akeem!” And when you think of make-up, think Of Rick Baker! Or you should anyway. Including his makeup effects on Eddie Murphy’s many characters in “Coming To America” he’s worked on plenty of other movies. To name a few, “Harry And The Hendersons”, “Gorillas In The Mist”, “How The Grinch Stole Christmas” and more recently “Men In Black 3”. When you think of “Men In Black 3”...you probably don’t think of the people I got to meet yesterday, but I think you should. Rick Baker was one of them. And the others were visual effects supervisors Jay Redd and Ken Ralston and animation director Spencer Cook. Without these guys the movie probably would have just been Will Smith against a green screen having a stand-still-punching-battle with Jemaine Clement with his regular face. OK, maybe not that bad, but you get the idea. For the record, if that were a movie, I’d still watch it.

Anyway, I was invited to this press event with these 4 amazing people present who I got the chance to interview! To get an opportunity such as this just because of this blog, pretty sure I didn’t deserve it but oh boy will I take the opportunity! Before the interviews Sony had some great new apps to show everyone though. The Movie Touch App and the Second Screen App. The Second Screen App was modeled to us with “The Amazing Spider-Man”. It’s available for the Tablet and the iPad and syncs up with the Blu-ray, so while you’re watching this movie you can move around on the App and check all this Behind-The-Scenes footage relevant to your spot in the movie. They got interviews and all that good stuff. They let me test it out and it was so new and fun I realized I stopped testing all the features and just started using the ones I wanted to use. I caught myself reading about the director for probably longer than I should have and had to stop myself. Oh right, I’m here to learn about this. Not just walk into Sony and started playing with gadgets. So, I could see myself loving having this guy seeing as how easily I got wrapped up in it.

The Movie Touch App, modeled to us with “Men In Black 3”, was similar in which it had some behind the scenes footage found throughout it’s timeline as you watched the movie. It also has the ability to share to social medias. Nowadays, who doesn’t need to share every moment and action of your life to Facebook, right? It’s OK I do it too. Anyway, there were some designated areas of the movie where you could edit it down as much as you want and then share the clip, straight up! Holy whoa! The wannabe video editor in me would trim a chunk of video down to the part where Boris says, “You Complete Me” and cut it right there! That’s because I’m a nerd and think that is funny and would play it over and over and over on my couch. But I could share an even longer clip if I wanted and was a normal human being. Another fantastic feature was that you could click on any actor’s face on the iPad and it would pull up their character name, bio, actor name, basically a small imdb profile. Real handy! We even tapped on The Worm Guys faces and it brought up their profiles! Did you know they each have unique names? And my favorite feature was probably the searching capability. Not only can you search keywords and be suggested scenes that relate to that, but it can also search dialogue and bring you to scenes where they actually say the keyword. Again, if it’s me, I search a swear word and find all the scenes where they say it, because I’m mature like that. And then maybe I just share all those scenes like a 5 year old. Regardless of how you use it, it’s useful!

Again, I’d like to point out how great this event was. And how great they treated me. Free breakfast when I showed up, including coffee. Dudes dressed like MIB agents cleaning up after me and telling me to eat as much food as possible. They showed us the apps, a few other things, we did a Q&A, in which I raised my hand to ask a question and the lady picking me referred to me as, The Man In Black. (Thankfully someone noticed I wore a black jacket and tie! I did it for the event!) I noticed most of the other people invited had camera equipment or microphones or fancy, expensive audio equipment or mortgages and were basically all more professional and adult than I. Here I am with just my little blog but they treated me just the same! (I think they just didn’t know) But it was great that people at all levels were invited to come and experience the same thing. They then treated us to lunch in which I was encouraged to eat a bunch and I am definitely someone who listens to suggestions. Little sample of what I dined on?


OK and now to the interview portion! My first ever! I didn’t get to do a 1 on 1 but I did get to do a lengthy interview with all 4 of these fantastic guys alongside a couple other bloggers. Let’s dive in. Mario and Sherice were the two other bloggers interviewing with me. So, we did our little introduction with Ken Ralston, Jay Redd and Spencer Cook and Rick Baker joined us part way through. (WARNING: If you haven’t seen MIB3 yet and don’t want anything ruined you may not want to read this yet. Also, this is basically 4 interviews with 4 people rolled into one...so it’s long.)

Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Perks Of Being A Zombie

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you died a horrible death. Probably pretty violent. Like you got bitten real bad by a zombie-dude and then you got the sweats, a crazy fever, you started confessing all your worst sins in life like you'd just been injected with truth serum, you probably lose control of your bowels, and it's slow and tortuous before you pass. And yeah sure, you'll probably die a second time after becoming a zombie. Most likely from several poorly aimed gunshots or multiple stab wounds. But that's the worst of it! After that it's pretty easy!

Ah man! It's so tough cooking your steak just right! You want the flavor to be full but you want to make sure it's cooked thoroughly enough so you don't get sick. No need to worry any more bud, you're a zombie! Just eat that flesh raw. It's when it has the most flavor and you'll never get sick. Your stomach is like an iron tank now. Eat it right off the bone! While it's running away from you...

I have to pay rent every damn month! What a hassle! No, you don't. You're a zombie! Do you even own a house? Nope. You wonder around outside looking for tasty humans. Sometimes you even kill and/or eat some in their own home and then can camp out there for a while...rent free! It's like camping mixed with...knowing some very rich, very generous friends that always want you to vacation with them. Sweet deal!

Taxes on every single thing I buy! Then they make me do all this paperwork in April too! As if the extra pennies and nickels every day wasn't enough?! Although, I can't quite remember, what's the tax again on Roaming-Around-Mindlessly-Biting-Off-People's-Necks-And-Hands? That's right. 0% And that's all you do. Welcome to tax free living Zombie-Guy!

Dating is so hard these days. And where do I even meet someone to date? Once you're a zombie, you do not care about that anymore. The average male human thinks about sex every 8 seconds. The average male zombie thinks about sex whenever it isn't thinking about human flesh. Additionally, the average male zombie thinks about human flesh 100% of the time. Lady-Zombies, you have it about the same.

My cable package just cancelled my favorite station without warning! And when I call them to complain they put me on hold for hours and hours! Who cares? Meander on down to their headquarters and bite the guy's face off who screwed you over. And whoever else crosses your path. As slow as you are...85% of people still won't be able to get away from you for some reason. So, don't worry, the Face-Bite is basically in the bag. And those are the perks of being a zombie.

Monday, November 12, 2012

A Breakdown Of Orianthi's "According To You"

I've seen many a song broken down lyric by lyric. I've never felt so compelled to do so with a song myself until I heard Orianthi's "According To You". Here's my interpretation of the song.

According to you I'm stupid, I'm useless
I can't do anything right

These are harsh accusations for someone to make without evidence. Stupid is one thing. Useless. This guy must have some reason for throwing that bomb in the field. Let's see if you can rebuttle it.

According to you I'm difficult, hard to please
Forever changing my mind

OK these too are accusations one would not make without a reason. Time for you to make your argument back.

I'm a mess in a dress, can't show up on time
Even if it would save my life

OK, maybe not. You want to give us more insults from your ex. Gotchya. Making a strong case. Let's see, also this guy thinks you can't dress nicely...you know some people really can't. Have you ever thought he might be right? Also, tardiness is not expressed through opinion. That's just a factual thing. If you are really always late you really just are always late.

According to you, according to you

No, no trust me, tardiness isn't something that is opinion or belief of people. It's cold, hard facts. If someone tells you to get somewhere at 7 P.M. and you show up at 7:20 P.M. looking like a wreck in your fancy dress then you are tardy! And a mess in a dress! Don't you realize your life is on the line and all you have to do is show up on time?!

But according to him I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head

Finally we've gotten to the part where you come back at us with reasons why you don't suck. As told through the story of the "new guy". So the ex, probably was with you for awhile and knew you quite well. When he says you're always late and stupid, I mean we see that he has credibility in this case. The guy's been with you. You obviously want to get back at your ex by telling him all about your brand new boyfriend. Brand new. This guy who's been with you all of what? 3 days? So far his opinion of you is that you're beautiful, a compliment to your physical appearance, and incredible, too vague of a compliment. Those are supposed to prove to us you're not stupid? You know how many beautiful girls there are who are stupid?! Plenty! You probably are beautiful and this guy who has been with you for a couple days can only say that about you. He hardly knows you. He doesn't know how stupid you are yet. And the fact that he can't get you out of his head also doesn't prove you to not be stupid or useless. He's probably just pumped you already showed him your boobs so early in the relationship and has a constant boner.

According to him I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted

Again, not proving you are punctual, useful, intelligent or a lady who can be taken to the Hilton in a strapless number. Some funny people are dumb. Or maybe you said something in all sincerity and he thought you were making a joke. And if he knew you were serious he'd think you were a dummy but he's all like, "No way, she's gotta be telling a joke. No one is THAT stupid! Especially not someone who is this beautiful!" Also...everything he ever wanted? And he knows this after 3 days? Wow, we found a guy who rushes in and doesn't know you can't learn everything you need to know about a person in 72 hours. He sounds like a winner too.

Everything is opposite, I don't feel like stopping it
So baby tell me what I got to lose

What's opposite? His opinions of you? No. He complimented your physical appearance and your ex said your IQ is that of a table napkin. And not even a fancy one. Again...those two qualities can and do exist in one human being. You don't feel like stopping what? Are you just saying things that rhyme now? I don't know...what would you have to lose? Who's making the accusations that there are things to lose? Nobody...why even bring that up?

He's into me for everything I'm not,
According to you

Yeah I don't know. I'm starting to really side with the ex. But who knows, we've only gone through the first verse and the first appearance of the chorus. We still got more ground to cover here.

According to you I'm boring, I'm moody
And you can't take me any place

Back to the ex. A.K.A. My possible new best friend. Well...boring people suck. Especially when they have mood swings. Unless you swing from boring to full of life and happy then it's a bad combo. Maybe he can't take you any place because of the whole dress-fiasco. Seriously, just learn how to dress up once in awhile and maybe your awesome boyfriend would have taken you to great dining spots.

According to you I suck at telling jokes
"Cause I always give it away


Well, yeah. If you give away the punchline of a joke...then you suck at telling jokes! Plain and simple! You have to master the art of telling jokes, that's your own fault. Your ex is totally right. Now, I don't believe the new guy who thinks you're funny. Has that guy ever heard a proper joke been told or is he one of those people who just thinks other people are funny when they repeat Family Guy jokes?


I'm the girl with the worst attention span;

Well then fucking pay attention!

You're the boy who puts up with that

I think this guy is a saint

According to you, according to you

Maybe you think all these instances are "according to him" because you just aren't paying attention! If you listened to him long enough you'd see his complaints have reasons behind him. And really, totally honestly, not paying attention to someone you're close to, friend, boyfriend, whoever, that's like one of the worst qualities ever! I have to listen to this song over and over to make sure I get the shit right and you can't even listen to your boyfriend explain to you the proper shade of lipstick to accompany your dress with and the etiquette of telling knock knock jokes. Yeah the knocking always comes first. Not the person's full name! Yeah!

But according to him I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head

Here we go with this again. Yeah, a guy who you just met thinks you're hot and a guy who put up with your non-paying attention ass for a couple years says you're dumb and don't help him with chores and are always late. It's all true!

According to him I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted

Maybe he means funny in an ironic sense. Also, many men find Paris Hilton irresistible you know. And no one's mentioned how she's a part of MENSA nor have any of her comedy specials gone well with critics. Maybe this guy has low standards. Hot girl with heartbeat...check!

Everything is opposite, I don't feel like stopping it
So baby tell me what I got to lose

OK, I seriously think you're just making all the same points that didn't work the first time...all over again! And they aren't going to work here either! They mean nothing! And who are you calling baby? This whole song is addressed to the ex, right? According to you...refers to the ex. So, now you're calling him baby? Oh I bet the new guy wouldn't appreciate you showing the feelings you still have for your awesome ex who just invited me to the Kings game this weekend. He and I are sitting right next to the glass and we're going clubbing later to pick up girls with large attention spans and moist, sexy usefulness. Maybe one of them will help me with the siding on my house. For hours!

He's into me for everything I'm not,
According to you

Get over your ex already! He's over you! He found a girl at the club, actually the twin of the girl I found. We're both very happy. Can't you just be happy for us Orianthi?!

I need to feel appreciated
Like I'm not hated

OK so stop talking to your ex already because he hates you. Seriously, though. You initiated this whole song-conversation. He wasn't even trying to talk to you via shit-ass-pop-song.

oh no

What happened? Did you step in a dog shit or something?

Why can't you see me through his eyes?


OK, I suppose we'll just gloss right over your random scream of "oh no" like it didn't happen. Um maybe he can't see you through the other guy's eyes because his eyes have already seen you at your very worst...wearing a flannel to that restaurant in Beverly Hills, asking the waiter if the bread is vegan and if the halibut tastes fishy. Also, get over him! I thought you were happy with the new guy. Why do you care how your ex sees you?

It's too bad, you're making me dizzy

What? I'm seriously so confused. Are you drunk? Have you turned to drugs? You're making minimal sense. You sound high.

Then after a "sweet" guitar riff for what feels like an hour she finally comes back with

But according to me you're stupid, you're useless
You can't do anything right

Whoa really? You just went first grade on him and pulled an advanced, "I know you are but what am I?"? All you did was just turn his insults on you around on him. The exact same ones! How immature and not creative. And then all she does is go on to state the same points made by the new guy who obviously doesn't know as much as me and my buddy the ex do. Let's see how he feels about this whole situation in a month. I bet he'll be begging to join us at the King's game by then. But by then me and the ex won't be going to King's games. We'll be too busy with our new project in the suburbs that helps senior citizens learn to tell jokes and put up siding on various domeciles. We're gonna be a hit. Wish us luck Orianthi!

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Is That A Semen Plant?

You've just stepped outside. You're walking down to the coffee shop or you're about to go for a run or whatever it is. You're out on the sidewalk. It's a nice, sunny day out and you inhale, taking a deep breath through your nose and then...you smell it! Ah! What smells like semen?!

Is there a nearby sperm donation happening? Why does it smell like a teenager's trashcan all of a sudden? Nope. There is just some sort of tree or plant that smells exactly like semen! And it's in bloom! Stankin up the outside like it's a room commonly used for orgies with poor ventilation. It's so strong. The smell doesn't just linger, it stains the insides of your nostrils. Until you feel like you'll never smell anything else.

It's unmistakeable yet it's unidentifiable. Well, I'm sure there's some botanists that know what the sperm plant really is but why haven't they told us common folk? So that we can find them and tear them out of the soil and plant them in our enemy's turf? Or at least just get them the hell away from us! Baby's breath. There's a plant people like to smell. Babies being created. There's one people don't want to smell. See the difference Mother Nature? Get your shit together. No one like smelling the jizzum tree. It's awful.

I wanted to know what this thing looked like since I had just smelled it the other day and was once again taken aback by the cum flower or whatever it is. It seriously hits you hard, like right in the face...and maybe a little on the chest. What does Julianne Moore say in Boogie Nights? On her stomach and her....anyway...getting off topic...it hit me! And I hated it as usual! So, I look it up on a Google Image Search. But the way I worded what I was looking for was a bit off. And the results showed.

All I can say is, you have to look it up yourself. But be careful when searching for the plant that smells like semen. Word your search carefully. Or you'll get some interesting results. Well, you will regardless. I think Planet Earth knew this in advance. Planet Earth - "Hey, let's create a plant that smells like semen so billions and trillions of years later when search engines are created on the internet, people will look it up and find other funny results." Chuck Norris - "Yes. Good idea." Yeah, I know...big surprise. Chuck Norris helped create the earth and was behind the whole semen-plant scandal. But it's true.