I think it’s time to reevaluate my life. Just the other night I caught myself laughing at a joke in The Golden Girls...because I genuinely found it funny! Even more scary, I was watching The Golden Girls.....alone.....on a Saturday night!
Now, it’s kind of unfair to myself to only present you with this information. Yes, I was watching The Golden Girls alone on a Saturday night, but the past 5 or 6 Saturdays have been very different stories. Nothing like that. Quite the opposite in fact. So much so that they have lead me to this horrific, geriatric Saturday night. How?...you ask? I’ll tell you.
Too often I go out and spend too much money on the weekends. I’ll do it 5 or 6 weekends in a row. Maybe I drop a Benji one night ($100 US dollars), a few A. Jacksons another (He’s on the American 20 dollar bill!), I can never be content with just spending.....well no one knows who’s on the 10.....the point I’m trying to make is I can never control myself and just spend 10 bucks. It’s always more. And I do this over and over until I have a weekend where I realize, whoa, it’s time to cool it on the spending. My ass cheek has a burn mark from pulling my wallet out too many times in a row. The fly that lives inside my wallet is totally ready to fly out at any moment, and they only do that when there’s no cash left! So, what do I do?
Well, it’s time for a weekend where I don’t spend any money. And since I haven’t trained myself well enough to be able to go out somewhere and not spend money on every shiny, alcohol-y, fried chicken-y thing I see, I have no choice but to stay home. Keep my eyes from seeing the luxuries of life that my brain wants to throw off-green paper at. I stay in. I turn on the TV. I see Frasier is up next on the Hallmark channel, so I decide to bear with one episode of The Golden Girls. But then I laugh at Bea Arthur...in complete earnest!
I’m still so mad at myself. But then I was thinking, well maybe the show is actually funny sometimes. It was on for awhile. There couldn’t have been that many old women with nothing to do and horrible taste in comedy...could there have been? Someone’s gotta help me with this. Opinions? What do you all think? People over 50 need not apply. No seriously, you’re probably biased. Also, I’m not going to feel better unless I get the opinion of a young whippersnapper who’s hip with it and knows what’s what. Wait...whippersnapper? Oh consarn it I’m already losing touch!