Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Rihanna Drive By

Intro: I like a lot of Rihanna's music. I just want you to know that. It's catchy...but they overplay it on the radio sometimes, like they do with everything.

Yet, whenever a Rihanna song comes on, on the radio, I leave it on. On the off chance that she happens to be driving by me, both of our windows down, I don't want to be switching away from her song. I want it to be on and for me to be fully rocking out to it...as I do.

And then she'll see me and say, "Oh, do you like my music?" And I'll be like, "Whoa! Rihanna! That's crazy to see you...as I was listening to your awesome music! Yes, I like it! I get dance fever when it comes on!" And she'll blush a little (I know, you wouldn't think I could make Rihanna blush) and she'll say something to the effect of how it's still flattering to this day to see her fans enjoying her music. And I'll have a witty response that's so good I can't write it down here because I don't want anyone to steal it from me. Also, I don't know what it will be yet. Then, you know what happens next?


She'll say, "Hey, I know we're still currently driving top speeds on the freeway and barely paying attention to the road and it's incredulous to think that we can both carry on a regular conversation in these circumstances and can hear each other and all that but would you like to go somewhere and have sex? The two of us?" And I'll first comment on how sexy and provocative her last statement just was and then quickly agree and then we will go back to either my place or her place.

But know what I'm starting to wonder? I'm a little worried if we go back to my place, throw on some sexy tunes, and then start to express our attraction for one another...you know...physically...is it going to get weird? My Sex-Time-Playlist has a lot of Rihanna on it. Will she feel uncomfortable when the sound of her own voice is echoing throughout my bedroom? I probably wouldn't want to hear my own voice while I'm in the middle of my Fun Time. Will she hate my playlist? Maybe I need to alter it. Or maybe if she offers me up sex I'll have to turn it down because I've already constructed a pretty solid playlist for 42 minutes of intensity. Maybe I'll have to turn down every music artist that offers me sex just in case they have a weird thing about their own music being played during romantic intercourse. Or maybe next time I just skip the Rihanna song.

Things to consider. And things needing to be considered quickly, as I OBVIOUSLY don't have a lot of time to figure this out.

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