Sunday, January 15, 2012

My New Restaurant

Tonight’s special is a Hot Dog that I microwaved. The holes were poked by a fork halfway through the cooking process. This is also when the salt and parmesan cheese was introduced. The Hot Dog was then cooked until the ends of it bubbled up and started to split open.

It is served on a bed of Instant Mashed Potatoes. They were Fast Roasted. That’s right, cooked in less than 3 minutes.

Along with this, is your choice of half an apple I didn’t finish from before or plain lettuce.

For dessert I have prepared a Dorito Pie with a Frito Crust. It’s both Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch because I didn’t have a full bag of either.


Who wants to dine in my new restaurant? We are located in between two very famous restaurants. We actually share a kitchen...with the dumpsters in their back alley.

We have a full staff of ex-cons who are willing to do anything for a buck. When your waiter is working solely off tips you can expect fantastic service, for the most part.

So, try us out. We’re not online. We’re not in the phone book. But our tables and chairs are made up of phone books! I guess just try to stumble upon us in the street. If the wait is too long at either of those two famous restaurants just gander down their shared back alley. Maybe you’ll find the romantic night you’ve been looking for. One time a guy named Ted found the receipt he threw out for a free coffee in our waiting room/dumpster.

Undiscovered treasure could be just a hair away. And who knows? Maybe that hair will be right in front of you! In your food!

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