Sunday, September 11, 2011

Invisible Day

For one day I was granted the ability to be invisible. All day. I didn’t even have to take my clothes off like most times people do when invisible. I did anyway. It made more sense. I always imagined I’d be naked when I was invisible. I always knew it would happen. You’re probably wondering how I was granted invisibility. I should probably spend some time explaining that.

I was wandering through the forest (you know that one forest in Los Angeles?) and I came across a fallen tree. Underneath the tree was a giant frog. He was trapped. He was about four feet tall, had a gray beard (or grey beard if you’re from London) and was wearing a purple hat. Looked beret-ish I think. Anyway, he begged for me to help him. I used all the strength I had and pushed the tree far enough to the side so that he could escape. He was very thankful and said for my kindness he would grant me invisibility for the day. It really didn’t make much sense at all but I was super stoked as I’ve always wanted to try it out. The next 24 hours were a blast! I’ll show you some pictures from all the shenanigans that went down.

Above is a picture of me punching a singer in the face. I was invisible at this concert, he was singing his version of Johnny B. Good. And let me tell you, Johnny B. Bad. He deserved that invisible fist to the mouth. Right during the first verse. He didn’t even know what hit him.

Now, here is a picture of me eating a poor boy’s sandwich whilst he holds it on his plate. And what else is going on here? Was his sandwich previously punched? Notice the peanut butter on the mean-looking man’s fist. I think we caught them post-punchus.

Look at me here! My mom always hides the samurai swords on top of the cabinets in the kitchen so I can’t get to them. I could climb up there but she always sees me and pulls me down. However, invisible...oh and I can climb up to the samurai swords undetected. Success!

Check me out, taking a dump here. Nothing too special about this photo. It’s just, sometimes you got to poop. I couldn’t go all day without pooping. First invisible poop though! Good thing I got this wall directly in front of my face to stare at. And how about that toilet paper roll?! It’s just out of my reach. See me reaching for it? I’m so close! Why would they put the toilet paper roll 6 feet in the air? That makes no sense! Also, don’t forget I’m still naked. Have been for all these pictures.

Check me out shaking this guy’s head til he vomits. I overheard him talking with his friends saying how Scorpion would beat Sub-Zero in a fight, lost my cool. Side note, I just got out of the bathroom and forgot to wash my hands. That’s not only the paint-can-shaker to the head, but the dirty version.

Finally, here’s me jumping rope with a masked villain. He thinks it’s just him jumping rope, what he doesn’t know is there’s a very skilled jump roper just inches away from him jumping up and down, invisible, and still naked. Naked and jumping? If only he could see me. In addition, after the jump roping I took him down for being a masked villain. I kind of got tangled in the jumprope in the process and had to run away with it dangling from my uh...

What a fun invisible day! I’m walking through that forest more often with hopes I can get another one!

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