Friday, September 9, 2011

Drop Dead "Drop Dead Diva"

So, the other day I was watching a bit of “Drop Dead Diva” (I’m not a fan, I literally had to watch it for work) and I became a bit aggravated with it. I understand enough of the show to get what it’s about. I mean, they explain it you real plain and simple at the start of every show. So, the main character was one of those stereotypical beautiful women (wants to be a model) who is sort of dumb and has a bad personality. But she is beautiful so lucky for her she lives in the U.S. That’s all you need to get far!

Then, she dies and comes back as this fat, ugly chick. And don’t say I’m mean or anything, the girl is literally cast for this. I didn’t come up with the damn idea. Anywho, comes back as a fat chick and you’re like, “Oh shit!” for a moment because it hits you. She’s going to have the same bad personality, only now she’s fat and ugly. She has nothing going for her now. No one’s going to give her a chance in modern America. The best she’ll get is someone mistaking her for a fat, ugly DUDE with a bad personality and give her a swift crack to the nose for being an ass.

I remember hearing about the premise and seeing a bit of some of the episodes and I could honestly see how people could enjoy this. It’s like that taste of medicine everybody wants to see the popular, hot bitches from high school get. Since your personality is ugly now you are too. Let’s see how shitty your life becomes. And you’ll deserve every mean thing that happens to you.

But here’s the thing. I was watching a recent episode and the chick got smart! And her personality is much better! And they actually put her in make up so she looks decent, still fat though. But it’s like, “What the fuck guys!? You took away what little gold you may have discovered!” Oh and did I mention she appears to be this successful lawyer at some firm. So, she got a good job too?

Now, this shit ass show is just another lawyer show. Your main character lacks all luster she once had. Sure she was once dead for a couple minutes, but so was my friend Ian. His heart stopped as a baby. Can he have his own show? Nope. Because what America apparently wants to see is another lawyer show where the main character is an average looking girl with a regular to good personality and is fairly smart. Sweet. You turned this into the most plain, humdrum, piece of shit show. Just like 90% of TV nowadays.

Oh and her guardian angel follows her around and he looks suspiciously like a young Scott Baio. Also, he apparently follows her friend around when he feels like it. Cool, so he can follow other characters with more interesting shit going on. What the fuck is this show now?! I didn’t really want to watch it before but when it was between that and the 8 channels with Tyler Perry marathons on a lazy Sunday afternoon, I would at least pick it then. Now, I would almost rather watch Tyler Perry presents his stool after a week with the flu or whatever it is he puts out. However, now if I only have those two things for choices I will turn the TV off and go outside and tie a noose. I’m getting closer and closer to not watching any current TV shows at all. Seriously. The reruns of “Seinfeld” and “Friends” and “The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air” will keep me happy. I don’t need this shit. Why don’t you just drop dead, “Drop Dead Diva”?

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