Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Animal-Ass-Hairstyles

Hairstyles come from all over. Ever think of the names and styles of them all? Ever notice that several of them come from animal’s asses? What’s that about? What are these hairstylists doing all day? Heading to the zoo for inspiration? But walking the backway? Let’s take a look at some of these animal-ass-hairstyles.

Here’s a popular one. Pigtails. Someone must have looked at a pig’s ass. Mainly towards the tail area. And they were half inspired. It wasn’t until another pig waddled over that they were fully inspired. Two! Two pig tails. Ah ah ah! Let’s make this a hairstyle! How about it’s like someone’s head is the convergence of two pig’s asses smushed together? I think that should be a hairstyle!

Here’s another one. The rat tail. Not sure how this became a hairstyle. Who thought that they should take the ass (the most unflattering part) of an animal that everyone thinks is gross and yucky?  An animal that has been commonly known to carry diseases. And put it on the backs of people’s heads. It’s become quite apparent how popular that one’s become. Good choice on that person’s part.

Ponytail! Hm, I would like to meet the hairstylist that came up with this idea, however I’m not sure which white van they reside in on the side of the road. Pedophile alert! A pony’s tail? Not only are you strangely looking at a horse’s ass, but you’re looking at a kid horse’s ass. I don’t care if it’s one in horse years but older in human years. Ain’t no way it’s even close to 18 human years! Thus making it illegal for you to stare at it’s behind. And then you stick it on the back of someone’s head? That should be...illegal...no? Yet, I see them everywhere.

OK, so if these animal-ass-hairstyles are popular, then we should be able to make some other ones popular. See below.


Here’s a good idea. The Lion Tail. I already have a brief summary of the Lion Tail’s history all lined up. It will popularize in a few years when a hip new rock n roll band all cuts the hair into a Lion Tail. It will strike the nation. Everyone will start wearing the Lion Tail. The band (Lady Fingers For My Father) will have started a revolution! But then there will be too much exposure for the Lion Tail and it will have become too common. Overused. Within a few years it will be mocked as a stupid fad of yesteryear. However, there will still be the terrible parents who give their 6 year old kids Lion Tails for the first day of school. You know the types. They’ll probably make them wear parachute pants too.

Here’s another one. The Dolphin Tail. No, not Dolphin Tale. We don’t want the back of someone’s head to be a movie. Or a mechanical tail. Just looking like a real dolphin tail. That’s a sweet extravagant style. A lot of upkeep. But at least it’s waterproof.

My last idea. The Human Tail. Probably the tail I see the most of. Most commonly seen below the waist. I want it to be most commonly seen above the waist. I’m not exactly sure how it would work, but I want someone to make it work. Someone make it work for me?

In fact, can anyone make any of the last three work? I would love to see that. That picture would make it’s way on this blog. Fo sho!

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