Tired of everything being in 3D as of lately? Movies, TV, video games, all of it’s being put in 3D. 3D used to be a once in awhile occurrence. Now it’s around every corner. What else are they going to make 3D? Oh and don’t forget half the time you got to wear the glasses!
Does this bother you hardcore, my friend? Well, I have a solution for you! Buy my 2D glasses! Put them on whenever you want! People watching stupid 3D movies? Put on your 2D glasses and everything is in 2D. 3D video game players in your midst with their special glasses on? You got specialer glasses! Put on the 2D glasses and shut out their 3D shit for good!
And my 2D glasses are more comfortable than 3D glasses. They won’t hurt your ears or smash into your forehead and they don’t leave undesirable lines on your forehead. You can even wear them out on a date. No one will be the wiser! In fact, have you been noticing literally everything is 3D? Like real life? Look out your window at the trees or buildings or houses. They’re all in 3D! Sons of bitches! Don’t worry. Put on my 2D glasses. Everything will stop popping out at your face like an annoying jerk.
They’re fashionable too. Get them in a beautiful array of colors!
And that’s it for colors!
Problem solved, right?! Now, all you need is a number to call them. You can order these sunglasses for the low low price of $9.95 A month for only 9 months! Most payment plans are for a year! This is a bargain! Call us now to set up your payment plan at 1-800-485-5223. It’s easy to remember because it’s 1-800-GULLABLE. That’s right. 1-800-485-5223!
Oh, also don’t order next Friday night because I’ll be watching Lion King 3D while it’s out. It’s only out for two weeks so I got to jump on that. But any other time is OK. Yup.