Monday, August 8, 2011

Pimping Is Actually Very Difficult

Recently, I’ve been thinking about the content of one of my very first posts, (Insert here) and going over everything I said. There was a lot of good points I made I think, rappers get away with a lot of things that us ordinary folk can’t. And it’s because they’re rappers. I’m not even sure if it has anything to do with them being rich. If someone were to become an ordinary folk type rapper and not become rich, he or she could probably get away with a lot of the same things. Additionally, I’m pretty sure no one is the rapping world is reppin’ us ordinary folk, so I’ve taken it upon myself to be that man. I kind of always thought it would be cool to be a rapper. I think I can do it.

So, check it out. I already got my rapping name. Stevie Stever. Nothing too fancy but then again some rappers just rap under their real name. So I did a little twist on mine. I think it’s catchy. Now, I know rappers often times have a bathousand nicknames. Yes, a bathousand. So, I’ve come up with a few. I did some intense studying and research in order to pick the right nicknames. For instance, Jay-Z also goes by Jigga. Starts with the same letter and other than that is basically just a random ordering of letters creating a catchy sounding nickname. I can do that. Another name he sometimes goes by is Iceberg. He’ll refer to himself as that sometimes, which is just an icy, geographical phenomenon. I get it. Icy. Ice. Jewelry. It makes sense. But I think I can do that too. Observe.

It’s Stevie Stever in the house, a.k.a. Glacier.
A.k.a. S-Ka Bibble. Big receiver of fellatier.

See? Easy. Those are my nicknames by the way. S-Ka Bibble and Glacier. And that was a pretty hardcore rap right? You could tell right away I’m no nonsense. I’m in the house, so that’s good for people to know. However, it’s important to state that the house I’m in is not a large mansion. It’s not any kind of big expensive house. Remember I’m reppin’ the people who live in regular type houses. Apartments. Condos. That’s my crew. People who own only one house because...well...they’re only one person, or one family. I’m going to make sure people remember this when I rap. I have a few ideas. Here’s one.

Yup, yup, Stevie Stever be chillin’ in his regular apartment.
I currently work in the encoding department
Of my building! I make decent hourly pay!
The top on my whip don’t drop it just stay!

Notice what I did there? Related. Yes, I too have a regular job and a regular car and a regular place I live in. But I’m treating it all like it’s glorious! Like I’m loving this life I’m living. Because hey...I do! My car may not be a convertible but it is a hatchback and I can store tons of stuff in the trunk. Plenty of space for my friends and lots of head room. And it was at an affordable price. Color. Arctic blue...which is a light blue. But a color the Glacier can relate to. Later on in my career I plan on joining a rap group with my brother Mike. Him and I have already discussed the rap group, so I’m already an in. I’m just going to wait after my first two albums, “Born To Live” and “Pimping Is Actually Very Difficult” have already come out. Then, comes the announcement, “Stevie Stever is forming rap group with older brother. The group name, Shave Your Beaver.” Most of the songs will be about shaving the beaver. I already got an idea for our first song, less about shaving the beaver and more about our group having been formed.

Big Stevie Stever now in Shave Your Beaver.
With brother Michael, but no not Seaver.
Growing Pains are done, cause I’m a grown ass man.
Flowing Games are dumb, your rap game fits inside my hand.

Pretty damn good intro I’d say. That will be track 1. First part of my first verse. I don’t care if he goes first, we’ll work that out later. Or maybe track 1 is a skit of us trying to steal a CD from Wal Mart, then track 2 comes in right at the end of it and is the first song on the CD. Not sure if those audio skits still do well on rap CD’s anymore. They used to be huge. Anyway, that’s the plan. And Shave Your Beaver already has some songs in the works so Stevie Stever has to get some solo tracks in the works if he wants his albums to drop before the merger. Anyway, those are my ideas so far. Any feedback? I’d love some. But I don’t want any haters hating on me. Don’t think I won’t tell the proper authorities about rude comments! I’m hardcore!


  1. By the way, let me be the first to comment on my own post and say that I am a moron. I was in such a rush to put this up I forgot to replace the (Insert here) for myself with the actual link to the post.
    Idiot! Anyway here it is -

  2. Also...double idiot. My link didn't seem to work in the comments section. Whatever, if you really want to check it out it's The Difference Between Me And Most Rappers which you can find in June of the Blog Archive section on the right.

  3. hahahaha I can't decide which amused me more. The story you wrote, or your two comments.

  4. haha big receiver of fellatier. Jay-z is Jigga, I'm Bigga, now we just need one for Neacy..

  5. Did you like that?
    And I gotta say I'm stumped for Neacy...