Sunday, August 28, 2011

Farts Compared To Sex


REALLY GROSS THINGS TO HEAR AFTER A FART

- Wow, I’m so wet.

- That feels warm.

- There’s plenty more where that came from.

GOOD THINGS TO HEAR DURING SEX

- Wow, I’m so wet.

- That feels warm.

- There’s plenty more where that came from.

Although, if you say that last one during sex you probably are a tool. But if you said that like early to mid 90’s I bet you’d be cool. And your partner would think that’s nice to hear. Nowadays I think the ladies would frown at that.

But did you see how things to say after a fart have completely different connotations when you say them during sex? I’m sure you weren’t thinking it would have resulted otherwise. But did you ever think of the similarities between farts and sex?


- They both have very distinct smells.

- When it’s in the morning it’s generally more surprising. “Wasn’t expecting that morning sex/fart. I didn’t even romance/eat the lady/food just recently.”

- When performed from a different positions you can get different results. And noises.

- It’s always more fun when there’s at least another person involved. Examples: Sex with a partner as opposed to alone with your lotion and crying/masturbation tissues. Fart with a partner, farting on someone’s hand and making them go, “Ah, gross” as opposed to farting alone and having no one to share it with.

- And finally, if you don’t clean up right after you’ll be stewing in the juices.

Well, that’s all I got for this post. I was really just hoping I grossed people out from wanting to have sex for the day. Or possibly I turned people on to farting. Either way, I feel good about what I did.

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