XOXO. Apparently I just kissed and hugged you. And then kissed and hugged you again. Why is that? Why is an X a kiss and an O a hug? And sorry if we don’t know each other too well and you’re weirded out by all the affection. But seriously, X’s and O’s have represented kisses and hugs for as long as I can remember. Do they still mean the same when on their own? “XXX” usually doesn’t mean 3 kisses. It usually means something else. Something beyond kissing. And “OOO” usually isn’t three hugs. I think “OOO” is a moan that is exclaimed, usually from a lot of “XXX”. But together XOXO kisses and hugs. I’ve been trying to figure this out and I think I’ve come up with a solution.
X, if split in half, looks like > <, more or less. Now, each one of those things could be someone’s mouth I suppose. They’re pointing right at each other and when pressed together, X, now those two mouths are kissing. What about O? My theory on this, is that this is what a hug looks like from an aerial view. Say you’re a bird or an astronaut and you look down and see someone hugging another person. With their arms wrapped completely around the person and touching on the back it might look like O. Now, I suppose that’s probably only if the person is thin enough for you to fit your arms around them entirely. If you can’t, your arms won’t connect but will come close, and it will probably look like U. So, XUXU is probably kisses and hugs to a fat person. Chubby chasers, start signing your romantic letters accordingly.
But what about other actions? Handshakes and high fives? Bumps and grinds? Do they have letters assigned to them? I don’t think they do so here we go. Naturally I will assign B to bump and G grind. Handshakes and high fives is a trickier business. They both start with H so I can’t use that for either or it will be confusing. So S will be handShakes and F with be high Fives. And then of course, the most important form of human contact. I. The one that is sought after more than any other form of contact. Intercourse. I is for intercourse. Now, how do all of these play in part with one another? Do they have effects on one another? Oh you bet your A they do.
Well, I’m glad we did this. I think I learned from this experience. Granted I created all this information (created not fabricated, that’s important) but I learned the info I created. I think it holds true since I have facts and graphs to back it up. You don’t deny anything that has a graph that comes with it. That’s like telling a guy he doesn’t work on Wall Street when he’s clearly holding a briefcase. The evidence is right there! I hope all you learned from this as well. No need to S with me. We don’t need to be so formal. We can F. Or even O. I’d like to see what you look like before I think about any X’s. But who knows? Maybe while we 0 some famous R&B singer will start singing and our bodies will sway and we won’t be able to help but to do a little B & G. And I’ll let you know something else, in this case, there is an I in teamwork. In fact, I is only in teamwork. Otherwise, it’s just M. XOXO.