Saturday, July 9, 2011

The Social Network 2

The Facebook Movie was extremely successful. Do you think they’ll be making a sequel? Try to squirt a little more money out of that cash bovine? I feel like there’s a lot of potential there. There’s a lot they haven’t even touched on in “The Social Network”. I looked at the entirety of facebook to see what I would like in the sequel and I’m afraid that I won’t get everything I want. I’m not sure what route they’ll be taking. What if they go the wrong way? By the wrong way I mean the way I, personally, don’t prefer. Then, I thought, I know the perfect way to ensure what I want. Make the movie before they do. Well, obviously I can’t make it, but I’ll write the script out. Then, I’ll sell it to the studios before anyone else can finish their version so I can be certain I’ll get the movie I want. It should be easy, even if the competition has started writing already. A lot of writers spend too much time with the rewrites. I’m just going to write this thing once and tell everyone it’s my 52nd draft. No way they’ll turn down a 52nd draft of the facebook sequel! They’ll have to know that it’s perfection made of gold. So, here we go. I’ll provide you with a few excerpts from my new script entitled, “The Network You Now Play Mafia Wars On”.

INT. COLLEGE DORM - NIGHT

RANDY, the kid who’s always picked last in baseball, sits at his desk staring into his computer screen. Some bings and bongs play for the score of the movie. It’s wicked sweet. JARED enters, handsome as FUCK.

JARED
I just had sex with several women and they were all pleased. It’s obvious I am the ladies man on campus, isn’t it?

RANDY
It is. And it makes it even more ironic that we're live together considering I am the shy, meek guy on campus with a lot of hidden good qualities and haven’t had sex with anyone yet in my life.

JARED
It does. What are you doing at the computer?

RANDY
I poked Tracy. I wanted to see what would happen.

JARED
What? We don’t even know what it is yet! The poke! We shouldn’t be poking until we understand it better.

RANDY
I think it’s suggesting you want to have sex.

JARED
Oh OK, never mind. What does Tracy look like again?

RANDY
She’s six foot five, two hundred and thirty pounds and there’s two of her.

JARED
Gross. Is she a lineman for the Patriots?

RANDY
Linebacker. Check out this new feature. You can play Mafia Wars on here.

JARED
I just want to let you know Randy, girls aren’t going to date you. Ever. And it’s not because you are shy or a virgin or because all your good qualities are hidden. It’s because you play Mafia Wars so goddamn much and you keep sending people invites and it pisses the shit out of them!



So, what do you think? There’s some good, original content there, right? I haven’t decided where this scene will be placed yet but I feel like it should be somewhere in the beginning. Maybe within the first 10 pages. Introduce the characters a little bit, you know? I’m afraid people don’t get a good enough idea about the characters though. Maybe they don’t get who it is I’m trying to create. I want it to be very clear but not too obvious, you know? I’m on the right track though, I know it. Anyway, I think I’m touching on some pretty hot topics in the facebook world. I’m trying to bring the heat to the surface. Let those controversial-knowledge-bombs just air out in the atmosphere. I’m hoping this script will really get people talking. Whatever they decide to say, “Blacklist”, “Oscar-worthy”, “Aaron Sorkin could learn a thing or two”, you know, doesn’t matter. As long as people are talking.


Also, for this script I decided I’m picking who I want to play some of the parts. Everyone says not to do this but I don’t see why not. I’m just casting my script with the best people possible. I want to pick them up before they aren’t available. What better time to do this then weeks, even months, before production? This project shouldn’t take long to get off the ground. So, Justin Timberlake was in the first one and was a big hit. I think he brought a lot of pop lovers to the movie theaters. It worked well for ticket sales. So, I’m going to try a similar technique. But I’m casting Usher. He’s a big singer and has even done a little acting. You ever see that movie, “In The Mix”? Well, me neither but it’s a movie and he was in it. So, next he can do my movie. I already wrote in a few scenes for him. Here’s one.

INT. COLLEGE DORM - AFTERNOON

Randy and Jared are each on their respective computers. They type and click away furiously. USHER is sitting on their futon eating Cheet-ohs.

RANDY
I just tagged you in a photo Jared. But I tagged this girl as you.

Randy busts up laughing. Usher leans in.

USHER
She reminds me of a girl that I once knew.

JARED
Oh great I hope Usher doesn’t start having mixed up dreams where he’s banging me!

USHER
Man, I’m so throwed. I don’t know what to do but to...

JARED
Throwed? Is that even a word?

RANDY
Why are you throwed, Usher? Are you really thinking about having sex with Jared now?

USHER
I guess it’s time for me to give part two of my confessions.

JARED
Part two? What was part one?!

USHER
That I want to make love in this club.

RANDY
Do you mean room? You want to make love in this room?

USHER
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeaaah!

JARED
Usher’s freaking me out again. Can we throw him out?

So, obviously as you can tell Usher’s character will play a big role. He brings a lot of tension into the room every time he’s in there. There’s a lot of conflict whenever Usher is around. People get uncomfortable because they never know what he’s going to do. He’ll probably be like third or fourth lead in the movie but I’m guessing top billed. Haven’t worked all that out yet. I mean, I’m not putting my money up for this thing but I’ll be working out a lot of the expenses beforehand so the other people don’t have to worry about it. I’ll be working out other things too like making sure someone gets Usher a nice big trailer to hang out in and to make sure he gets plenty of TLC while he’s there. Stuff like that.

The next step is probably to cast some more big names to surround Usher. I want him surrounded with talent. I’m trying to think who’s big and can play a convincing college student. Probably Drake. He’d be good. He played a high school student on “Degrassi” a few years back. That show’s popular, right? And he already knows how to play a kid in school so it won’t be much of a transition for him. So yeah, him and.....The Jack In The Box Guy. Sounds like a stellar cast to me! Who won’t see this movie? The lines write themselves!

INT. WHO EVEN CARES AT THIS POINT - WHENEVER

DRAKE is on facebook typing up a status and reading it aloud as he types. JACK IN THE BOX GUY is standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

DRAKE
I know way too many people right here on this facebook application thing on all these pages that I didn’t know last year. Who are all these people? And what am I doing? What am I doing? Oh yeah, that’s right I’m making a facebook status. I’m making a facebook status. I’m living life right now. As if there’s anything else to do with your life. Of course I’m living it. I don’t even need to say that. Life can only be lived. There’s no need to say it. I-

He stops typing.

DRAKE (CONT’D)
What happened? Did I run out of room on my status?

JACK IN THE BOX GUY
Probably. That was a combination of some of the worst run on sentences I’ve ever heard. You should stick to your love statuses. They're much better. Stop trying to post these hardcore statuses all the time. By the way, you should “like” me on facebook! Even I’m on there now!

See? It writes itself. I didn’t even write any of that. As you can see, I’m well on my way to finishing a goldish script. I got a few other scenes written, a total of 14 pages. Pretty good. I think I’ll get the other 106 done in the next couple days. Then, I’ll start shopping it around. Any advice, let me know. But you got to be quick. Because this thing is just a few moments away from production!

2 comments:

  1. Samuel L Jackson. He should play Drake's father who creates his own facebook account like all paretns do to keep tabs on their college student children. He should "like" every status Drake puts up. And always send him CityVille and FarmVille requests. "yo mother fucker! I'm Samuel L mother fuckin Jackson! Help me with my farm fucker!"
    Just a thought to add in!

    #SwearsMakeMoviesFunnier

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  2. Hahaha he would be the one good actor I actually cast. Good idea. He's in.
    Sammy J! Where you at?! I got two proposals for you now!

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