Thursday, June 23, 2011

Diary Entry: 01 - Very Bad Trip

Dear Diary, 
I wasn't expecting today to be filled with so much action. After jumping up in the air, slamming my head on a shiny box and busting it open, a bunch of shrooms fell out onto the ground. Well, just one fell out but it started sliding around on the ground immediately. 
Naturally, I sprinted towards it and ate that thing whole. Luigi always says shrooms take awhile to kick in but I doubled in size instantly! I thought, "Mamma Mia, this is perfect! I'll finally be able to kiss Princess Toadstool somewhere other than the knees!" But then, out of a nearby pipe, a plant with a head started blindly shooting these fire boogers at me! I say blindly because it had no eyes. But this must have been the Stevie Wonder of Fire-Booger-Shooting-Plants because it was on it's mark! I couldn't let one of those fire boogers touch me! It would probably shrink me (for who knows what reason?) and I couldn't go back to my cherie amour Princess Toadstool like that!

I jumped clear over the guy and ran away! I didn't stop, just kept running! Eventually, these ugly brown muffins with loafers started waddling my way. Of course, I jumped on their heads and squashed them into batter. I thought later on, perhaps I shouldn't have assumed these muffins had evil intentions just because they were ugly. Maybe they were just looking for chocolate chips for their heads. 
But alas, I am Mario. I shoot first, ask questions last. Anyway, so those guys are dead and I'm still running! These shrooms are insane! I even saw flying turtles, I think! 
Well, eventually I did an awesome jump off a super high outdoor staircase to nothing and grabbed onto a random flagpole. I slid down to the bottom and as someone set fireworks off in the distance, I meandered into a nearby castle to throw up. Luigi always says shrooms make you throw up. I guess he was right about that.


  1. After reading this I noticed a link between Mario and John McClain of Die Hard. They both shoot first and ask questions later of anything that gets in their way when they want to get to the girl in distress. Then I noticed that Mario, when on his Shroom trip, is also like the Crank movies with Jason Statham. Seeing flying turtles, jumping off super high staircases and surviving. I wonder if the writers of Crank we're die hard Mario players

    #firstcomment. Ya Twitter language. Eat it!

  2. I think the writer's of Crank basically translated a few levels of Mario into a rated R script. That's all the movie is.
    And as for the comparison of Mario to John McClain...they seem to be somewhat alike at this juncture...I guess we'll just have to see how much alike they are as Mario logs more of his days into his diary...

  3. Very true on all accounts. I do say, this idea is pretty awesome, never heard or read, of someone taking the like of Mario and saying it in is point of view. Nice funny twist to it!